I chose to start this morning before the children had left as I had narrowly missed the chance to sneak down while they were still asleep. I knew there might be some noises or interruptions, but I wanted to get going with my day.
I went through the preparations and maintained a fairly good focus. I moved on to perform a body scan from the feet upwards. Again I found good concentration here and performed it at the same slowed speed as yesterday. Although there were some mild distractions bubbling up they didn’t take focus.
After about two minutes of the scan I did ten counted breaths and settled on the same pattern I was using yesterday. Breathing in with “in”, “pause”, “out”, “pause” internally while watching sensations at the nose. This settled in very nicely and I soon found a good focus, better even than yesterday for the initial period.
I noticed that I felt still and calm. distractions where there, but on the outside and the volume was low. This continued in a nice solid way for around ten minutes.
I’m not sure what caused it to change, but change it did. I did notice strong pins and needles in my right leg, and I also needed to cough. I adjusted my position slightly and shuffled in a bit. This seemed to trigger a downward spiral. Now I was having a harder time to regain the same focus.
This lead quite quickly to a feeling of frustration and impatience. One good thing I noticed is that the forgetting or loss of focus tended to happen in stages. Stage one was I would start forgetting the sensations of the breath at my nose tip. After that the internal “in”, “pause”, “out”, “pause” noting faded a little into the background. Finally, if a distraction was strong enough it might take the main focus. This can give me an early warning system in future meditations.
This difficulty focusing and the associated impatience continued for some time. I was also aware that the pins and needles were strong now and shuffled a couple of times. For the last five minutes, I started to worry that I hadn’t set the timer properly and that I should have a look. I’m glad I didn’t though, as after what seemed like an eternity, the gong chimed and I awkwardly stood up and finished.
|Meditiation Type||Awareness of Breath|
|Meditiation Position||Seated Floor Cushion|
|Meditiation Stages||Stage-2 Stage-2+|
|Tags||Pins and Needles Impatience|