I was downstairs at 6am again which is my preferred time. I may move this back a few minutes as the day breaks earlier over the summer. I slowly read for 25 minutes and had a coffee. As usual, I went into the room the set up the cushions and put some essential oil in the diffuser.
Sitting cross-legged I remembered that the slightly less comfortable left leg over right was much better for avoiding pins and needles. I went this was and started the internal preparations. This morning despite being quite tired on awakening I had a lot of energy for thinking and didn’t really have the dullness I’ve seen recently. As I hit the goals step it felt right not to have a specific goal today, just the aim of enjoying the session.
After finishing I took a slow body scan, scanning in body sections and holding attention on them, rather than a slow moving awareness. Moving into the breath I was, like yesterday, wanting to develop the introspective awareness while watching the breath. Today was good in this respect, especially the early part of the session.
I sat with this continuous mindfulness watching the breathing while gently monitoring mental states and other distractions. This had a good ten minute run. Eventually, some thinking started to creep in. Today many small insights vied for my attention. Managing them quite well I continued on, I was mildly frustrated and not quite getting to the same level of focus as yesterday.
About ten minutes before finishing I started to hear a loud crackling from the diffuser. I took a little peak deciding to ignore it, but when it happened again I lent forward and blew out the candle. I didn’t look at the remaining time on the clock which I think was a good thing. I had no desire to see it.
As I lent back and sat back into position, my mind offered me a slightly more profound insight. It showed me that desire and ego where driving many of the desires for attainment within meditation. The desire to start to see the early Jhanas or experience the beginning of the path to enlightenment is a real hindrance. This wasn’t really news to me, but it was framed loud and clear as I sat there. Promising myself (or perhaps my mind?) that I would come back to this I carried on. The focus was not as good now, thinking was popping in regularly as a small distraction. Nevertheless the last few minutes passed and I finished the session. I’m expecting to be able to make a group class tonight so I’ll hopefully get a second session to review today.
|Meditiation Type||Awareness of Breath|
|Meditiation Position||Seated Floor Cushion|
|Meditiation Stages||Stage-3 Stage-4|
|Tags||Interruption Mind Insight|