It was quite late in the evening. My girlfriend had just gone to bed and I was starting the first of the two planned hour long sessions.
I’d had a little coffee but was still tired. I set up some essential oil and put the cushions down in the front room.
As I sat a noticed a sleepy dullness was present. My mind expertly procrastinated and it took a little while for me to finish the preparations. I eventually got going but was distracted by noises upstairs. I sat still for a short time listening to these and switched back to the prep. I finished these as above, but then my mind wandered before I did the scan.
It took quite an effort to do the body scan. I did eventually get it going and move to the breath. Here is got very heavy going. I struggled to keep the sleepy dullness at bay. In reality, I don’t think I was able to pay particularly good attention to the breath.
I tried a few things, counting and commentary related. These didn’t help like normal. After a while, I became curious that the bell had not rung. I had set the timer to go every 20 minutes but there was no noise. I was unsure if I was being impatient, or it was not setup correctly. As this was a new mode on my phone, I eventually gave in and had a look. This was showing 32 minutes. So I had definitely not set it up right.
I closed my eyes and carried on. There were quite a few clicks and pops and other noises around the house. The diffuser did make an odd crackle after a while so I checked on that.
Seeing that it was now 42 minutes, and I hadn’t heard the second timer, I set a new 15 minute countdown with rain noise.
This one did work. By now I had a slightly better focus on the breath. A little dullness and impatience were still present, but I didn’t suffer too much. When the gong rang I sat for a final minute or so before getting up. Glad to have done the hour. Will do the next one in the morning slot, and see how it differs.
|Meditiation Type||Awareness of Breath|
|Meditiation Position||Seated Floor Cushion|
|Meditiation Stages||Stage-2+ Stage-3|
|Tags||Checking Dullness Tired Impatience|