April 2019 Review
This is the second monthly review. I’ve looked back at all the sessions I’ve recorded this month, as well as re-reading last months review. It has been a good months practice, which has seen development. What is probably more important, is that I’ve started to really enjoy meditating. It was broken up a bit, by a somewhat unplanned week off. Following that break, reestablishing regular sitting has been easy and I’ve found missing a few days bought some refreshed enjoyment. I don’t plan to miss many days in May, but if I do, I will be a little bit more relaxed about it.
The Good Bits
- The practice has continued firmly in the way first set out during March.
- I’m finding that pin and needles from sitting have mostly gone. I suspect this is due to regular practice and posture. I now tilt the tops of my feet slightly forward while still being crossed.
- The impatience to finish is not bubbling up as often. In fact, I’m often having a great time just being there and being still.
- I’ve meditated a couple of times while fasting. These practices don’t interfere with each other. I’ve found during meditation while fasting I have a good strong energy.
- I’m getting better at making adjustments to suit the session. For example, knowing when to introduce some internal commentary or counting. Other times I’ve allowed myself to follow a particular sensation or other distraction briefly, but I feel I’ve selected just the few choice moments to do this.
- The procrastination before starting a session seems to have also dried up. I think this is down to me enjoying the recent sittings
- The group sessions have been even better now that I’ve already meditated in the morning. I think much of the newfound enjoyment has been from these relaxing guided sessions.
Room for improvement
- Like last month, in the early stages my attention is not always firm. It can take a few minutes to wrangle it under control.
- Again like last month the background noises of the children can still be a problem.
- Thinking about what to write in the journal is still a distraction. Especially when seeing something new, or realising I’ve been in a long period of focus and the danger is to start thinking about how to describe things.
- While impatience has improved, I’m finding a dullness creeping in other places. This dullness lulls you in to forget the clear concentration on sensations. I don’t feel like I’ll fall asleep anymore, but I can subtly get lulled into a dull space.
- The checking/mindfulness/introspective awareness which I’ve been trying to cultivate is progressing fairly slowly. I’m planning to introduce a little more general discipline, before coming back to this in a big way
I’ll try to add stage five in later in May, especially if I get good progress with checking. I’ve also had my doubts again about the Journaling. I suspect I will have to drop it at some point before I reach any real profound states. That said, I’m committing to at least another month. Thinking about the journaling is very slowly becoming less of an issue. Expect an update to Stages this month. I may also experiment with ASMR in some separate sessions. I’d be interested to see if this can become a meditation object.